Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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