I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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