I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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