its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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