This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
