people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
