Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
