So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
