Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
