I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
