..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
