Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
