so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
