Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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