well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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