Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
