how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
