Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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