dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
