I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
