just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
