apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
