Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
