we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
