i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
