Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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