Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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