After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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