Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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