I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
