I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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