so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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