I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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