About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
