ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
