Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
