Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize