You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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