We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
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Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
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Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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