My pussy is not your playground.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
