I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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