I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
