barbara walters just said penis...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
