I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
