I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
