He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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