I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
