Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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