forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
People in love make me want to vomit
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well I just put wine in my tea
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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