I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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