I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
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alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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