C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize