why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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