To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
