Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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