So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
