This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
