I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Holy sore nipples Batman
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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